Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I Was 15

Keep Working:  Millions on Welfare depend on you. So many men.  So many reasons to sleep alone.

My wife gives me sound advice.  99% Sound, 1% Advice

Women are God's Rubik's Cubes. Your proctologist called.  They found your head.

Coffee, Chocolate, Men -- Some things are just better rich!

I love sensitive men.  They're easier to take advantage of A woman drove me to drink.  I forgot to thank her.

God was my copilot, but we crashed into the mountains and I had to eat him.

Question Authority.  Ask me anything. Kinky as a cheap garden hose.

My wild oats have turned into shredded wheat.

What Would Scooby Do? Am I self-centered or is it just me? Darwin was wrong, men are still apes.

If life is just a game, I must have missed the kickoff.

Daddy farted and we can't get out My driving is almost as good as my shooting

I survived the Bush economy and all I have left is this lousy bumper sticker

Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there! Love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.

Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly ....and for the same reason.