Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

Reality is all a point of view. Repetition is always better... the second time.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control.

Don't drink and park.  Accidents cause people. Why should I grow up?  This is more fun. It's been Monday... all week.

If you are phychic, think ''Honk''

Want to understand the government?  Read between the lies. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.

Honk if you love peace and quiet. One good turn gets most of the blankets. When all else fails, lower your standards.

Conciousness is that annoying time between naps.

Always remember, you're unique.... just like everyone else. Take everything in stride.  Trample anyone who gets in your way.

A baby is a loud noise at one end, and no sense of responsibilty at the other.

Why the HELL do I have to press I am merely a pawn in my cat's World Domination plot.

In God we trust.  All others we run through NCIC

Don't confuse the news with the truth Actually no one owes you crap

Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!