I.R.S.  We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

Gravity!  Not just a good idea, it's the law! If you want a stable relationship - get a horse!

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

I used to have a handle on life.  Then it broke. Earth First!  We'll stripmine the other planets later!

Friends help you nove.  Real friends help you move bodies.

''Criminal lawyer'' is a redundancy. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

My other car is also a piece of junk I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory

Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Invest in America. Buy a Congre$$man! If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!

Lord give me patience... But Hurry!

I'm not a complete idiot!  Some parts are missing. Sex is my religion.. let us pray!

This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle