Due to lack of interest, tomorrow will be cancelled.

Life without bears - would be unbearable. Look out!  Behind you! Quick!! Act as if nothing happened!

Change a life; make someone feel important.

A day without sun is like, you know, night. Forget about World Peace.  Visualize using your turn signal.

Alimony is a system by which a woman can profit from her mistake.

In theory, everything works. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Get forgiveness now - tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

According to my best recollection.... I don't remember. It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

This gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Like a roll of toilet paper, life goes faster at the end

I would rather hunt with Dick Cheney than drive with Ted Kennedy.

Beer, now cheaper than gasoline.  So don't drive... Drink The control key on the keyboard does not work!

Always compost - a rind is a terrible thing to waste.