There's no such thing as a stupid question...  just an endless supply of them.

The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese. Who marked ''Stop Payment'' on my Reality check?

I'm not getting bald, I'm just getting more head.

Bingo keeps grandma off the streets. The early bird still has to eat worms.

My ex-wife is a great housekeeper, she kept the house.

I still miss my husband, but my aim is improving. Horn broke, watch for finger.

Remember when sex was safe and skydiving was dangerous?

Drink till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. If you aren't making waves, you aren't kicking hard enough!

I'm a nervous wreck!  Got a wife, a girlfriend and a banknote, all past due!

Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam. QUANTUM MECHANICS:  The dreams stuff is made of

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Say Old age and Treachery will beat out Youth and Skill.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

On your mark, get set, go away! What we need is a patch for stupidity!

Sorry I missed church. I've been busy practicing witchcraft.