I used to be Snow White... but I drifted.

Nonconformists are all alike! Support mental health, or I'll kill you!

Politics - from the words ''Poly'', meaning ''many'', and ''ticks'', as in ''small blood-sucking parasites''.

Hire Teenagers while they still know everything! When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.

If you can read this, you're in phaser range! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

I refuse to have a battle of wits... with an unarmed person.

Madness takes its toll - please have exact change ready. I don't have a license to kill.  I have a learner's permit.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

Sure you can trust the government!  Just ask an Indian! If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy. Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!

Think globally, Act galactically.

My drinking team has a bowling problem. Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it!

I don't have a beer gut! I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.